


All I am is a man

by GuessWhatZianourry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Fluff and Angst, Harry is 19, How Do I Tag, M/M, Nanny Harry, Oh wow, Single Parent Louis, alright here we go for tagging, haha thats a real tag too, i don't even know how to do this, it's a huge age difference but it was inspired by a true story, louis is 36, that's a real tag, though it's not really angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:03:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6841843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuessWhatZianourry/pseuds/GuessWhatZianourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is Louis' daughter's nanny and stuff happen.</p><p>Or the one where they both have existential crisis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guys. I can't believe I'm doing this. It's the first work I've published ever and I have no idea how I feel about it. It's probably a bit shitty, unbeta'd and... well. You'll see for yourself.
> 
> Please, be nice. :):):):)

As a thirty something (thirty six, but you'll never hear him say that) father, you'd expect Louis to have his life well organised and thought through. Well. It definitely wasn't the case. He had his daughter's, Elena, routine registered and well executed everyday and he never failed on that. Accompany her to school in the morning for classes which start at eight thirty, let the babysitter fetch her at the end of her day while he works. When he gets home, diner's ready and he dines with his daughter and the babysitter. The problem wasn't work either. As a music producer, he was perfect. He is one of the best at his job, and he loves doing it. No, the problem was his head. The problem is his head, and the babysitter he sees everyday.

Harry is a good guy. Great, even. Actually, that's the problem. Harry is good, he loves Elena, takes care of her like Louis would, obviously loves her to pieces. He is terribly pretty, big and bright green eyes, soft looking pinky cheeks, full lips that make a perfect mouth. And he is so nice, thoughtful and bloody smart (even though it takes him 20 minutes to a simple sentence out). He sounds like a perfect person, and he is. His only problem is that he's 19. And Louis knows that an almost 20 years younger guy is off limits. 19 year-olds are not serious, they want flings, they want fun. It's normal, but Louis doesn't have fling and fun to give. Not with Elena.

But let's be honest, the problem is that Harry is interested. More than, even. And he's made that pretty clear. He'll always touch Louis at any occasion, always finding an excuse, he'll always be in Louis' space, as much as is allowed. He'll make innuendos whenever Elena can't hear him. It's driving Louis absolutely crazy. It's already hard enough to refuse Harry to himself, but to refuse himself to Harry? That's torture. It's been like that since he hired Harry, three years ago. Needless to say, Louis hated himself for having those thoughts about a minor, and it helped that it was not allowed but now that he's legal, it's hell to even be near him.

Right now, Harry is in the kitchen, and Louis has just set Elena to bed with her usual bedtime story. It feels so domestic that it hurts Louis, to be confronted with this sight pretty much every night.

He must have made himself heard, because Harry turns around, clean plate that he's drying in hand.

"Hey," Harry says in an almost whisper, as if talking louder would wake Elena up (it wouldn't).

"Hey," Louis answers on the same tone anyway. He doesn't know why, but he approaches Harry until he's almost invading his space. "I didn't ask but how did your law exam thing go?"

Harry chuckles, apparently happy that Louis remembered. Louis always remembers everything when it comes to Harry. "It went quite well, I guess. I'll have to wait and see. But I wasn't too surprised with the subject and I was able to do it quite easily. It's usually a good sign, right?" He smiles up to Louis.

"I bet it is, Harry. I'm confident you'll succeed, what with how intelligent or whatever you are," Louis waves a hand around, at the whatever. Harry smiles brightly. "You know, you don't have to stay and wash the dishes after dinner," he adds when Harry turns and takes another drying plate.

"I like to stay a little more. I don't like it in my empty tiny little flat," Harry answers. He seems to think for a bit, before he continues "And it gives me some alone time with you."

"Harry…" Louis sighs.

"Louis?" Harry says all innocent, as if he didn't just say that he wanted to spend time with Louis. Alone. For whatever reason.

"Harry don't- don't say things like that," he just says, bringing a hand to shuffle through his fringe. Anyone knowing him knows it means one of two things: either he's exhausted or completely distressed. Here, it's both, and Harry probably already knows it.

"Why not, if it's true?" It seems so simple, said like that. Why not, after all, say everything we want if it's true?

"You just can't. Why would you want that anyway?" It is said calmly, and seriously, but Harry looks at him as if he had just yelled.

"I thought I made it obvious that I like you, Louis," Harry's voice sounds a bit sour when he answers, as if he was hurt by Louis' question. Maybe he was?

Louis' at loss for words. What could he say? He couldn't tell him how he was pretty much half in love with him already. It could be easy. Maybe if Harry were a decade older. Maybe if Louis didn't have a daughter. We'd change the world with 'if's though, so it didn't help.

"I- I just-" Louis stops his sentence there, noticing that he didn't even know what he wanted to say.

Harry sets the plate down, as well as the kitchen towel he was using to dry it. "I've got to go," he says.

Louis doesn't have time to register anything before Harry's storming before him. He weakly calls his name, not wanting to wake Elena up nor cause a scene, before hearing the door closing (softly enough to show that whatever happens, Harry thinks of Elena). Louis sits at one of the stools of the kitchen counter and puts his head in his hands, massaging his temps.

When he goes to bed half an hour later, he sees that Harry forgot his coat, and sighs deeply.

 

———

 

The next day, Louis feels like shit. Somehow, it feels like he did something wrong. Something really very wrong. He knows he didn't, he did the right things because Harry couldn't think it was alright to say things like that. He was his boss. And he was way older. There were so many reasons that explained why this was immoral.

It's what Louis told himself all day anyway, so that when he gets home that night, he almost believes it. Almost. Until he sees Harry and everything vanishes in his head appart for the beautiful, wonderful boy taking care of his little girl as if she was the most important thing in his life (she probably was, though).

What Louis doesn't expect is Harry not sparing him a single glance before standing up, kissing Elena (who's very concentrated on her drawing) on the top of the head, and making his way towards the door.

"Dinner's ready," Harry says while sliding his coat on. "You just have to heat it a little probably." And then he goes to open the door.

"You're- You're not staying as usual?" Louis asks, and he _knows_ he sounds desperate but he wanted to talk it through with Harry and _this is not going the way he planned_.

"I can't," Harry just answers as coldly as Louis has ever heard him speak before opening the door, sliding out and closing it immediately.

Louis stays baffled in front of the door for a few seconds before shaking his head and turning around, making sure Elena neither heard or saw anything. Luckily, she's still actively painting. When Louis approaches her, she raises her head, smiling brightly at her dad.

"Harry said he had too much homework to do to stay today," she tells him, and then goes back to her drawing.

Louis knows it's a lie, because Harry always, always stays. Even during his exams, when Louis offers to take care of Elena and let him work hard to pass his semester, not once did Harry accept the offer. Not once in three years.

Louis sighs, ruffles his daughter's hair and sets on heating dinner.

 

———

 

On Friday, Louis decides he can't lie to himself anymore. It's starting to feel more and more like the wrong thing, and at the same time, he feels like the events of the day before just proved his point. Tonight, he decides, he's going to confront Harry, whether he wants it or not.

He does not get the opportunity to do so. When Harry goes to storm out just like he did the day before, Louis grabs his arm, trying to hold him back. But Harry shrugs him off and  when Louis grabs him again, he says "I really, really have to go. I've got a job interview, Louis, and I'm already late!" and at that, Louis lets his arm go willingly.

"You've got a job interview?" Louis' voice sounds so tiny, even to his own ears. Even Harry, who was as cold as yesterday, gets softer. He doesn't answer, though, and storms out while Louis' distracted.

So Harry's planning on leaving them. As much as Louis would like to say he's concerned about Elena will take it (and he is, he really is), his first thought is about the fact that he won't get to come home to the person he loves anymore. It hits him like a train and hurts more than when he broke his wrist at ten.

He must've started crying, because suddenly there's a tiny little pair of arms encircling his legs in what seems to be a comfort hug by his six years old daughter. "What's wrong daddy?" she asks, sounding halfway to tears herself.

"Nothing baby," he says stroking her hair softly. "I've just got a dust in the eye, it's going to go away soon. Are you hungry?" she cheers, tears and sadness already forgotten.

Oh Louis knows how hard it's going to be for her, when she learns.

 

———

 

On Saturdays, Louis usually spends the afternoon with Elena and Harry. He still wants to talk to Harry, and very conveniently there is a playdate planned at the park next to the house for Elena and a friend of her's. All Louis has to do is drag Harry there, and force him to listen.

It works, and Saturday afternoon finds him siting next to Harry on a bench in the park. The day's beautiful, feels like summer already when it's only late April. Harry hasn't said anything to him so far, and he doesn't know where to start, so he starts with what seems more important right now.

"You know, Elena's going to be a mess when she learns you're leaving us, Harry," it is said in an almost whisper, but he knows Harry's heard when he feels him tense beside him. "She loves you so much, probably sees you as a father as much as she does me and-"

"Wait, who said anything about me leaving?" Harry cuts him, finally talking to him and turning towards him.

"You said you had a job interview, Harry," Louis deadpans.

"I did. Because my roommate is leaving and I have to earn more if I don't want to have to move into an even tinier flat," Harry says, voice low, talking as if Louis was stupid, slowly and drown out.

"Why didn't you ask me a raise?"

Harry shrugs. "You already pay me very well." He picks a little flowers on the side of the bench and starts playing with it distractedly.

"You know I could pay you more, Harry, it wouldn't be a problem," Louis goes to touch his shoulder, but holds his hand back last minute. "There are many solutions, you don't have to work yourself to exhaustion."

Harry shrugs again, now staring hard at his feet, extended in front of him. "Are we going to talk about the real problem here?" he finally asks, half turning his head towards Louis and letting his feet fall back to the ground loudly.

Louis gasps, not expecting Harry to face him like that. But after all, Harry's always been pretty head on, not one to go sideways when he can be straight with people.

"Right. Yeah, sure. I'm sorry you felt offended the other day, Harry" the young man snorts, letting his head fall to his chest, shaking it lightly. "It's just- you're so young, you could be my son really-"

"Okay, we went over that Louis. I know I'm young alright, but age is just a number," and _of course_ that's an argument Harry would use. "I mean, it doesn't have to change anything!"

"It changes _everything_ Harry. Your behaviour the last two days proves it. You can't- _I can't_ give you the fun you want, I have Elena first and I am not young like that again I can't have flings and-"

"Fun and _flings_ Louis? Is that what you think I want? I admit that I was very childish for the last few days but you hurt me Louis, you really did. But what on Earth gave you the impression I wanted a fling with you? Me taking care of your daughter everyday for the last three years? Or maybe me cooking you dinner like a good little husband every single night? Me obviously pining after you since I was sixteen? Honestly Louis, are you completely daft?"

At that minute, right there, Louis thinks he might be. Harry is right. Nothing gave off the vibe "I just want fun". It was clear and obvious from the beginning that he was serious about that. Does it really change anything though? He's still seventeen years younger that Louis, and that's just… it's hard to get over, alright? Even if it is legal, it doesn't feel like it, and no matter how hooked over Harry he is, he's not sure he could ever feel okay with this age difference.

"I told you I wanted to get settled and have children when I had the job interview, Louis. I was _sixteen_ and I already had told you I wanted to settle down," Harry keeps going, and Louis needs a minute to breathe and stop being overwhelmed by Harry, because he's going to pull his hair out in a few seconds. "Everyone knows how in love I am with you, even my mom and-"

"Harry!" Louis cuts him off this time, because it is getting way too much. "You think you're in love but it's probably not th- Wait did you say your mom knows you like a thirty six year-old man?" he turns his head towards Harry, eyes wide with surprise.

"She's known after the first week of me working for you. It took some getting used to, but she's okay with it, you know. And you could get used to it, too," Harry tells him. "And it really is love. I know it is."

"Oh, Harry…"

"Don't tell me you don't like me too, I've seen how you looked at me okay? You like me too. I didn't invent all that, I know I didn't," doubt is starting to sip into Harry's features, as if he really believed he read wrong.

The problem is precisely that he didn't, but Louis didn't know he was that obvious. "I like you like I would a son, Harry. You're like a son to me," lies, lies, lies. He doesn't think he could admit the truth right there, though. He's not ready, he's not sure he ever will be. "I'm sorry if you thought otherwise."

Harry's mouth fish gaps and before Louis can add anything to try and soothe the harsh words he just told the poor boy, he has up and left.

God, it's going to be hard to make things right this time.

 

———

 

Sundays are Harry's day off, so Louis' day is spent with Elena, simple. He likes having alone time with her (not that he doesn't like to have Harry over all the time, mind you), because it's rare occurence. He feels like he doesn't spend enough time with his daughter, but he reasons that it's for her to live comfortably and be able to pursue whatever dream she'll have later. Right now, she has decided she wanted to be a vet.

Their day together starts with a lazy morning watching Disney movies (starting with Frozen, of course, and then with Louis' personal favourite, Peter Pan). They have pancakes for lunch (chocolate chips of course, and natural ones with marmelade) and then, they spend the afternoon examining her stuffed animal for diseases and broken members. Louis likes to play with her, on Sundays, because he doesn't get to do it on any other day, and he wants her to know she's important, and that her daddy loves her. He thinks she knows he does, but he likes to repeat it every ten seconds just to make sure.

"You know," she says "Harry said I am his favourite person in the whole world," she continues while petting the little stuffed lion cub she's holding.

"Oh are you now? How come I am not his favourite person in the world?" Louis asks distractedly, only half kidding, even if he won't admit that.

"Because I am his little girl, not you!" she laughs like it's obvious. In a sense, it is. Particularly with the way things are now.

"But you're _my_ little girl," Louis gasps in faux shock.

"I'm his too, duh! I'm both of you's little girl."

She sounds so content that Louis' heart breaks a little. He's probably broken what they had, Harry, Elena and him. He's broken their… their family like thingy.

He's going to answer when his pocket shakes, notifying him that he's received a text. He fetches his phone to see the screen lit with a text from Harry. He quickly opens it, and reads the few words it contains: **Sick, won't be able to make it tomorrow, sorry.** It is short, dry and so, so unlike Harry. He really must've pissed him off, this time. He gets that Harry's probably really upset and maybe a bit ashamed too, and Louis feels like that too alright. But he's a bit angry that Harry's makes Elena pay for what Harry and him did. He gives himself a minute to be angry, before thinking that, then again, Harry certainly really is sick.

 

———

 

Louis has to leave work earlier to take care of Elena, and when thinking of it, he's glad he does. It feels good to be able to feel like a real, responsible and good father. Louis will never admit it (there are many things Louis won't admit and it's probably a bit unhealthy but well) but he's always felt a bit like a bad father for leaving a teen to take care of his daughter while he works.

They do her homework and then play a bit. When Louis' getting dinner ready, he receives another text from Harry, announcing that he is still sick and won't come the next day either.

It goes on like that until Friday, and Elena is starting to ask about Harry and she says she misses him at least twice an hour and Louis really is angry with the young man, now.

On Friday night, Harry shows up. He's straight faced, which doesn't look like Harry one bit, doesn't smile when Louis greets him, only smile at Elena when she jumps in his arms, nuzzling in his neck and telling him how much she missed him. Harry stares Louis deep in the eyes, cold and hard, all the while before extending the arm which doesn't support Elena's weight towards him. There's an enveloppe in his hand, with _Louis Tomlinson_ written on it. It looks so formal.

"What's that?" he asks, surprised. Harry doesn't answer, just waits for Louis to open the damn thing while holding Elena close to him. It looks a bit like a goodbye hug, what with the way he's struggling not to cry in the little girl's hair and the way he's halfway to crushing her. She doesn't seem to mind though, her rested on his shoulder while she plays with his hair with one hand, the other wrapped around him.

Louis opens the letter and reads it quickly, his whole world crumbling down with each word he reads. He looks up to Harry, who's still staring at him. His eyes doesn't let any emotion show.

"Elena, could you please go play in your bedroom? I've got to talk to Harry," he says.

The little girl looks like she wants to argue, but she must sense it really is important because in the end she doesn't say anything when Harry sets her down, and goes upstairs to her bedroom quietly.

Louis moves to the side to let Harry in, and closes the door after him. Automatically, Harry goes to sit in the couch of the living room, before hesitating. Louis gestures towards it, to tell him to sit. Harry obeys easily.

"You want to _quit_?!" Louis does all he can not to scream, but the anger that built up all week has just reached a peak, the resignation letter still in his hand not helping. Harry nods. "See. I knew it. I fucking knew it," Louis lifts the hand holding the letter, his other hand going to his hair to pull it a little. Harry looks confused. "You're a baby, so _of course_ you'd only think about yourself! That's what you teens are all about. Your own fucking self!"

Trying to calm himself, Louis paces in the living room. God, he didn't realise. He didn't realise they were already in too deep. Elena already thinks she's Harry's as much as Louis'. Louis' already used to having Harry over all the time. They have a routine, they have a life together. 

"Have you thought, for one bloody second, about Elena?!" Louis asks and he's trying really hard not to scream, but it's getting harder every second.

"Have you thought for a second about how I might feel after the rejection of last time?" Harry asks back.

"So typical of you teenagers. You don't care about her, huh? See what I meant, when I said you thought about a fling with me only? You maybe didn't even know it, but that was all you wanted, Harry. Obviously it was! An adult doesn't just up and leave at the first complication. Not when there's a child involved. Not when she thinks of you as a father! You're just leaving because you hurt a little. But hey, you know what? Life isn't like that! Adulthood isn't like that, Harry! Just put yourself in my shoes, and understand! How would you feel if someone seventeen years younger than you told you he liked you, huh? How would you feel, if the feelings this very young person had just admitted where mutual, even before he was even legal? Can you even try to imagine that, Harry? Because seventeen years younger for you means a two year-old baby. You have less of a gap with my daughter than with me Harry. It's fucking scary! And you've just proved to me that I was right too, just proved that I can't have a relationship with you because you're just going to bolt if anything goes wrong and I can't allow you to break Elena's heart like that." Louis finally makes a pause in what he was saying and for the first time since he started his speech, takes a look at Harry.

The boy's crying by now, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He's shaking his head too, like he doesn't want to hear the truth. Doesn't want to hear that he was wrong.

He stands up and goes to Louis and without a word takes him in his arms. Louis understands that the boy's lost, that he doesn't know how to feel. He remembers being nineteen. Life was confusing back then. Harry has more courage than he had, because he himself only admitted that he was gay way later.

So Louis wraps his arms around the boy and holds him close while he's crying, heaving loud sobs on his shoulder. Each broken cry breaks Louis' heart a little more, and soon he finds himself crying, too. After a few minutes, he sits them on the couch, and Harry's head directly falls on his chest. While Louis' right arm is still wrapped around Harry's waist, his left hand strokes lightly through his hair. Harry seems to have calmed a bit, only silently crying now, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I don't want to leave you both," Harry says after a while, voice cracking with exhaustion after crying so much.

"Then don't," Louis simply answers. And it is. Simple. It is. Harry doesn't have to leave neither Elena or Louis. They don't have to lose him. "Harry, I was waiting Monday to see you and tell you that I was sorry. That we already were as good as together, what with how domestic our routine was. We were only missing kisses, but we already kinda were together. But then you didn't come and I thought you'd come on Tuesday, that I was just imagining you punishing Elena for something between you and I. And then you never came back until you did with a resignation letter. I can't let you hurt my baby, Harry. She loves you so much you have no idea."

Harry doesn't say anything, but a new single sob breaks through his chest once again. Louis encircles him with his arms and holds him tight, wanting him to understand that he was not hurting him on purpose.

"I dropped out of law school," is the first thing Harry says, a minute later. He's breathing heavily, trying to recover from all the crying. "I am young, and lost. And you broke my heart, Louis. I've never felt such a shame before. But there's one thing I know, and it's how much I love both of you." He sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve. Louis find it so endearing he wants to kiss him. "I don't want to hurt Elena, I love her more than anything in the world. But I couldn't work with you after what happened. I thought- I thought you liked me too. I thought I read right, I swear I did, I didn't mean to put you in an uncomfortable situation." Ah, so Harry only heard a bit of his speech earlier. Alright.

"You did, Harry. You did. I just-" he doesn't know how to finish that. "I just wasn't ready to admit it."

Harry lifts his head from Louis' chest at that. "Are you, now?" he asks hopeful. His eyes are puffy and red and there's a bit of snot under his nose. His cheeks are still wet, and his hair is everywhere, and Louis loves him. He finds him beautiful and perfect and he loves him.

"I don't want to lose you, Harry," is what he chooses to answer with. Harry smiles, and new tears escape his eyes. "Hey, don't cry, you're not supposed to cry to me admitting  that I love you!"

He notices what he just said when Harry tenses beside him. "You love me?"

Louis' done lying to himself and the whole planet. "I do. I love you," he admits, and Harry cries harder. He feels a bit helpless with this crying mess of a boy in his arms.

"You love me," Harry repeats and repeats. Louis does. "I love you too Louis, so, so much," the boy cries.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you, Harry. I really am. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. I really thought I was doing the right thing," he says to Harry, who's head is back on his chest, while he cries what are, hopefully, happy tears.

When Harry lifts his head, they're only a few centimetres appart. Louis' eyes fall to Harry's lips, full and pink and welcoming. He hears the boy suck a breath in, and hold it. Louis leans down a little, waiting to see Harry's reaction. Making sure he wants this too. And he must want it, because a second later their lips are sealed when Harry closes the distance.

Louis can't believe it. He's never felt so good in his whole life, as if everything was falling into place. He places both his hands on each of Harry's still wet cheeks, caressing them with his thumbs, while Harry's hands find a home in his hair. At first, it's just their lips caressing each other lightly. But the longer the kiss becomes, the more urgent it turns. Soon, Louis puts his tongue to Harry's lips, the international way of asking entrance, and Harry opens up immediately, letting their tongues meet.

When the kiss turns too urgent for an afternoon with Louis' daughter, _awake_ , just upstair, he breaks the kiss. They both take time to breathe, not giving the other more space and pecking the other's lips every two seconds.

"I really do love you," Harry says in the quiet space. Louis shakes his head with a smile.

"I really love you too," Louis answers anyway.

"And I love you both too!" Elena says from the stairs where she stands looking at them.

Louis lets his head fall back against the couch with a laugh, and Harry lets his head fall on his chest, smiling wide. The curly haired man waves to the girl to come and join the hug, which she does, running and jumping onto them.

 

———

 

Harry spends dinner with them that night and then he stays over, and the day after that again, and again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so sorry it took me so long to update the second part. Honestly everything's been super hectic during the past 3 months!
> 
> I didn't take the time to re-read it because to be honest I'm really unhappy with what I've done. It's unbeta-d so it's probably full of mistakes, but please bear with me huhu
> 
> Anyway, without any small useless talk, here's the very short, but hopefully still likeable 2nd part!

That night, Elena refuses to go to bed without Harry. She's worried he'll disappear for weeks again, she says. Louis just begins to understand how much Harry is part of their family. He's not replaceable. It's not like he didn't know that already, because he did. Kind of. It's just different, to be faced with the fact.

Later, when Harry's gotten Elena in her bed after she fell asleep in his lap when they were all watching Finding Nemo, Louis decides they need to talk. They still have a lot to figure out, and Louis has no idea where to start. Harry is sat comfortably on the couch, pretending to pay attention to the movie, but Louis knows the young man is actually observing him from the corner of his eyes.

"Are you having another breakdown?" he asks warily. It hurts, but Louis guesses he deserved that one. He doesn't answer Harry's question and instead jumps on what surprised him most in their earlier discussion.

"You know, you can't just drop out of Law school because you are upset with me, Harry." Harry seems surprised, if the way he tenses is anything to go by. Touchy subject, it seems.

"I didn't drop law just because I was upset with you," he says. Louis waits for him to explain what it means. It takes a few very long seconds, but finally Harry continues. "I dropped it because I didn't like it, in the end."

That's all he gives Louis, but he's not satisfied. "Do you know what you are going to do, now?"

"I-er-I was planning on travelling around Europe a bit? That was also why I was resigning," he sounds sheepish admitting it, and Louis feels his heart break. He's almost sure it makes a sound, his heart breaking, because it's deafening and he can't hear anything anymore but the sound of his own sadness. All that for nothing, in the end.

He gave in to Harry, let him get close when he's tried to push him away for years. He let his daughter think Harry would be there forever, hell, she even asked Harry at diner and he had the nerves to answer with "of course". But now he's leaving. Travelling in fucking Europe. Sure, great. Louis should've seen it coming. It's a trend now, so many teenagers do this nowadays. They stop in the middle of an undergrad to bloody travel.

Harry must see the internal breakdown Louis is currently going through because suddenly he has a lapful of tall gangly and lovely teenager. Harry brings their foreheads together before kissing the tip of his nose, and Louis realises at that moment how tense he was because just like that, all of his muscles just relax again.

"I'm not leaving anymore. I'm not leaving Elena. I'm not leaving you." He kisses Louis' cheek in a reassuring manner, and Louis must admit that between his deep appeasing voice and his kisses, he really is getting quite relaxed there, under Harry. "I am going to start a formation to become a baker. It's been my dream since I was fourteen and worked in a bakery."

"Are you sure that you fully understand what that means, Harry? Because if we start this, it's for the long run. There is no easy way out of this, later, when you start to rethink it," Louis tries to explain it in the nicest way possible, but when Harry's face crumbles and his eyes show hurt, he knows he's failed. He sighs, before taking Harry's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks lightly with his thumbs. "Don't look at me like that, love. I just want you to think things through as much as you can. Go home tonight, think about it well. Take all the time you need, and if you're still sure after that, then we'll go from there, alright?" Harry opens his mouth like he wants to protest but thinks better of it.

He just nods, in the end and Louis kisses his mouth softly, because he's not sure he'll still be able to that tomorrow, or the day after. "Can I still spend the afternoon with you tomorrow, though?" Harry asks when they part.

Louis smiles at him unable to keep the fond out of his features, and finding that he doesn't even want to. "Of course you can," Louis tells him truthfully. "You even have to, what with Miss Elena missing you so much she wouldn't even go to bed."

———

Harry leaves. They say goodnight with a kiss, and Louis watches as Harry's car disappears in the darkness. When he closes the door, Louis lets things down on him. Instead of the usual panic he felt the other times, he's only left with a smile on his face.

———

Waking up with a child jumping on your stomach (with a knee landing somewhere unfortunate), was definitely not the best way to be woken up. However, the kisses coming from his daughter seconds later are the very best way to wake up. She giggles when he groans and wraps her in his arms to turn them around, so that they both land on their sides, face to face. He opens one eye to see Elena's happy smile lightening her beautiful face. Her curly brown hair were askew on the pillow her head was on, and her blue eyes (inherited directly from her father) already so alight with life and joy. He kissed her cute button nose, then smiled at her.

"Hi, sweetheart," he says softly.

"Hi daddy," she answers. "I'm hungry."

"Didn't I guess that one already," he laughs softly as he pushes a stray stand from her face. "Let's get up, Harry should be there soon."

She jumps from the bed, visibly very happy with the news of the coming of her nanny. Louis smiles at her excitement, although he can't help the little surge of worry booming in his chest. He tries to calm it down by getting up himself to get started on breakfast that he has little doubt Harry will be sharing with them. He makes pancakes and some eggs, because it's basically the only things he knows how to cook.

Elena and him sing loudly to Disney music (a CD Harry gave her months ago and that's been on repeat in the Tomlinson household ever since) while preparing it, Elena sitting on the counter and picking pieces of pancakes overtime Louis' back is turned.

They are so engrossed in the breakfast preparation and their loud singing that they don't even hear it when Harry lets himself in after having knocked twice. When he turns around and sees Harry against a wall of the kitchen, smirking fondly, Louis lets out a very manly scream that has Elena laughing until she cries. Harry giggles in his hand, and Louis hurries to put the volume of the music down.

"What you both just heard never happened, alright?" he says, his eyes small, menacing slits. It just sends both Harry and Elena in a new fit of laughter. "I see how it is. I cook for you, and you guys just laugh at my face," he says, turning around, his nose up in the air.

A few seconds later, he feels arms sneaking around his waist, a body sticking himself to his back, and a nose in his neck.

"Thank you for breakfast," Harry says, kissing his cheek.

"I want to hug too!" Elena yells from behind them where she's still sat on the counter. Both Harry and Louis laugh as they get closer to Elena. They lift her up at the same time so that she's sat on their linked arms. She wraps her tiny arms around their necks and hugs them hard.

As Louis looks at Harry, he can see the look of pure bliss written on the younger man's face. Harry's eyes are closed, and he is fighting to keep his smile closed as he rests his head against Elena's.

"I suppose you've thought it through, then?" Louis whispers to Harry. The boy opens his eyes and stares deep into Louis' soul, a smirk forming on his lips.

"I did, even though I definitely already knew I am ready for this," he answers on the same tone, before kissing Louis' nose, and putting his head back where it was against Elena's.

Louis thinks of how happy they all are, together, and feels proud of the family he made, with this marvellous boy, and the perfect daughter he has raised thanks to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon there will definitely be a prologue. Again, I have no idea when I might post it. Might be sooner than the 2nd part, might be later.
> 
> I'm sorry I'm very irregular, oops!
> 
> If you feel like saying hello on Tumblr, please do! Nothing would make me happier.  
> Find me [here](http://guesswhatzianourry.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, you deserve a standing ovation. Thank you, really!
> 
> Allllllright. Kudos and comments are welcomed. Tell me if you liked it. Tell me if you didn't (in constructive criticism, _please_ ). Tell me if there are mistakes (spelling, grammar...) because eh, English isn't even my first language! Tell me what you would have done differently, too, why not? I might change it!
> 
> There will be a second part that I'll post as soon as I am done writing it! I hope you'll like it!


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